If you would have asked me ten years ago “what word best describes you?”, I would have said "Independent"! I thought being independent was the best thing anyone could ever be or do for themselves. I continually told myself the lie, “who actually needs other people?” ... I wholeheartedly and stubbornly believed, I knew what was best for myself at all times & needed no one else to chime in to my life! As I went off to college & attended all my psychology classes, I quickly received a huge punch in the face (better yet, a reality check)! I learned that people actually do matter & relationship is extremely healthy and necessary!
So, now if you’d ask me, I’d say I’m very dependent! And I’ll be honest in saying, that dependence is mostly on my husband... If I feel awkward, inadequate, lonely, helpless, or even happy & excited, I lean to my husband to help bridge any gaps & share in my feelings & thoughts!
With that said, you may now better understand my hesitation & nervousness for my upcoming trip. Here’s the lowdown... I’m traveling across country for twenty days, just me & my son, to visit & spend time with family! We have three main goals & locations:
Week one: Fly to Boise to spend quality time with my sister!
Week two: road trip to Washington so Zeek can meet his GREAT Grandparents.
Week three: (now that the word is officially out) Drive down the west coast with my mom to help my parents move & settle in to Redding, CA where my dad recently received a new job as the Dean at A.W. Towzer Seminary! (& then fly home)
Yes, it’s going to be a BIG adventure. Neither Zeek nor I have ever been away from Jonny this long, I’ve never flown with a child (let alone, been a single parent in the midst of it), Zeek’s never dealt with a time-change (3 hours) or traveled that many hours in a plane or car... I’m praying it all goes well! I’m also constantly reminding myself & reveling in the fact that this family time, the memories, the pictures, & the adventure of exploring country I’ve never seen, it will one day outweigh all the negatives & stresses that may come from this trip! I’m continually growing in my excitement as I make my checklists & my “plan of attack” to attempt the smoothest travels & transitions for both Zeek & I.
I’m also, starting to gain confidence in the fact that I CAN do this, independently! Well, independently of my husband, that is. Simply because I’m realizing I’m never alone. Yes, I will have the help of my family once I’m there. But oddly enough, my excitement also comes from the fact I’ll be in the path of so many kind strangers who are just as relational as I am, & that I’ll have the opportunity to be vulnerable with others when in need of help! That's a scary thought for who I once was, but now, a refreshing thought in knowing it's necessary for growth in my life!
Can't wait to see y'all!